so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
