New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
