Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
this will be a night to untag.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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