my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
