Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
