Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
