im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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