It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
