thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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