Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
