I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
