Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
