My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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