remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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