There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
