I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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