She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
