i love accidental penises.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
