see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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