Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm passing your future prison.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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