then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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