Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
