his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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