let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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