Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm drive I can fine osifer
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
