need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize