A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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