What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
