Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
