I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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