I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
