i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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