Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize