I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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