the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
