i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We need to rekindle our bromance
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm at about main and main street
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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