dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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