should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need to calm my uterus...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize