we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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