quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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