i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
