Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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