Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.

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(505): you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage. http://tfl.nu/iczm

Replies (28) Good night (4173) Bad night (974)
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(913): View more from Kansas

she is the kim kardashian of front butts

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(913): she is the kim kardashian of front butts http://tfl.nu/khn5

Replies (23) Good night (680) Bad night (5872)
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(256): View more from Alabama

so my dad walked in on us having sex

(1-256): View more from Alabama

lulz really? why?

(256): View more from Alabama

lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time

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(256): so my dad walked in on us having sex (1-256): lulz really? why? (256): lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time http://tfl.nu/805g

Replies (75) Good night (1635) Bad night (11226)
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(514): View more from Quebec

It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..

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(514): It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get.. http://tfl.nu/agd7

Replies (9) Good night (3526) Bad night (1165)
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(775): View more from Nevada

At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.

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(775): At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town. http://tfl.nu/0gi3

Replies (17) Good night (4260) Bad night (856)
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(217): View more from Illinois

This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child

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(217): This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child http://tfl.nu/n5f8

Replies (10) Good night (2216) Bad night (982)
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(801): View more from Utah

On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?

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(801): On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box? http://tfl.nu/cd3c

Replies (10) Good night (3161) Bad night (856)
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(210): View more from Texas

Road construction signs are deceptively heavy

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(210): Road construction signs are deceptively heavy http://tfl.nu/a969

Replies (5) Good night (2537) Bad night (650)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.

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(802): Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step. http://tfl.nu/mq9b

Replies (3) Good night (1186) Bad night (444)
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(514): View more from Quebec

It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary

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(514): It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary http://tfl.nu/a9h3

Replies (0) Good night (1035) Bad night (449)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.

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(610): spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN. http://tfl.nu/4bnj

Replies (12) Good night (1106) Bad night (408)
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(360): View more from Washington

I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.

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(360): I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been. http://tfl.nu/46nz

Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (518)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Did you drink ALL that 151??

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.

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(843): Did you drink ALL that 151?? (1-843): No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable. http://tfl.nu/g9w3

Replies (4) Good night (940) Bad night (334)
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(513): View more from Ohio

she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck

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(513): she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck http://tfl.nu/n7bl

Replies (4) Good night (1383) Bad night (331)
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(586): View more from Michigan

She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.

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(586): She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible. http://tfl.nu/tfjy

Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (859)

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