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• (734): View more from Michigan

  But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.

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• (818): View more from California

  Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I won't apologize to a one balled man

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I just cured my dogs munchies

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have poison ivy on my dick

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  WHAT

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me

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• (408): View more from California

  I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?

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