Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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