I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
You came to the right person.