Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Quick, to the slutcave!

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(301): View more from Maryland

I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.

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(941): View more from Florida

If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?

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(210): View more from Texas

I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?

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(480): View more from Arizona

All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye

(203): View more from Connecticut

Oh.

(203): View more from Connecticut

You came to the right person.

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