She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
