what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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