Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
