We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
