Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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