Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
