i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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