Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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