can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
