I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
