Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
