some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
