Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I believe in your delicious
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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