He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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