The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
