Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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