I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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