I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
