Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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